The Second Post of 2007

I haven't written for ages. I'm really trying to find a job, but I have a horrid feeling it isn't going to work out. I've sent my CV to an agency in the (probably vein) hop that they'll find me something. I'm not really holding out a lot of hope though. The guy I spoke to didn't seem all that interested (though he had been away for a couple of days and had lots to catch up with, so maybe he was just a bit hassled). Just this evening I emailed my CV off to whole bunch of other agencies. Maybe I'll give them a call on Friday. Maybe Monday. That is, if they don't call me first.

Anyway, if this all goes to shit, at least I have a slightly unappealing fallback. A friend of mine gave me the contact details for a guy at his agency. I didn't get to talk to the guy, but I did end up getting teh email of someone else at the agency to whom I could send my CV. Literally 20-30 minutes later I got a phone call back. The woman on the end of the line was helpful, but ultimately she felt that I'd be better off looking elsewhere if I wanted to find a more interesting job that "wouldn't bore me" I could take solace from the fact that she felt that I should be able to get something better than she could offer, shouldn't I. She ended up giving me the email of a guy at their parent company whom she felt was more likely to get me something good. This is the first guy that got my CV, the one I'm currently hoping will call me back. She did at least say that she could probably find me something if I got desperate. So that would be my fallbaclk option.

She emphasised the fact that I wouldn't find anything they had to offer particularly challenging or fulfilling. She did at least give me some hope for something better by saying that I should be able to find something with the qualifications I have. They haven't been of much use in the past, but we'll see.

But basically I've been worrying about never finding anything that I enjoy or at least that pays well enough to get out of this crappy town. Being here, in my hose in this awful suburb is just driving me crazy. I'm starting to think that I'm never going to escape.

There's other stuff on my mind at teh moment, my main worry is the job thing. Worst thing is, I'm starting to think that I have no real ability to do anything. That I have absolutely no marketable skills whatsoever. I feel really drained at the moment. Just tired of once more being in this situation. No, not once more. To say once more would suggest that I'd previously been able to extricate myself from all of this. But really I haven't. I've had jobs, but they've all been crap. Most importantly though, they haven't paid well enough to allow me to make any kind of significant changes to my life. So, I'm still, 5 years after leaving university, stuck in this situation. You can see why I'm tired of it can't you.

I just need a job. A job that pays well. A job that I can be proud of and enjoy. And I need it pretty soon. Before the last few weeks I really wasn't that bothered. But now I am. It's probably just because my money is running out. Or maybe it's because I'm starting to go crazy, shut up in this house. Actually what's driving me crazy right now is the complete lack of control I have over my situation. It's all in the hands of a bunch of peopel who work at recruitment agencies. I have having to rely in other people. I hate it when other people have such an influenced in what happens in my life. I really need to get back some control over things. And soon.

Well that's January over. Lets hope February is a hell of a lot better. I need 2007 to actually work out for me in a way that the other years simply haven't.