And so it begins...

OK, well I guess this was inevitable. I was really just waiting for this to happen, but I'm pretty sure that the girl I saw last week isn't all that interested in me. I guess it's obvious why. I don't have a job, I live at home; the list goes on a and on. What am I basing this all on. Well I emailed her today and didn't get a response. In of itself that's no bad thing, she doesn't have much time to access teh internet at work. Anyway, I thought I'd text her to see how things were going and to see if she was free this week. Her first text didn't even mention meeting up. Her second (sent within a few minutes of the first, said she couldn't see me this week.

Maybe I was too eager, maybe not enough. Maybe I'm just an arse, I really don't know. Anyway, she says she's busy for much of this week and really needs to save her money. She's basically put me off for another week or two. That's it really isn't it. She's probably seeing someone else who's much cooler, more handsome and with a better situation than me. I loose.

I have a lot of work to do this week (some more writing work came through for me today), plus I'm meeting up with a friend to discuss another project, so I do have plenty of things with which to fill my week, so from a logistical side, it doesn't really matter too much. It's just that I think

I was just getting over my anxiety over the whole thing and heading towards being relaxed about it. What a dumb mistake.

I can't even say I'll pay because she mentioned that she wanted to have a quiet week. In other words, she covered all her bases. She doesn't want to see me.

I wish my happiness weren't so intrinsically linked to something so tenuous as whether a girl will go out with me or not. She also use the phrase, "Don't take it personally..." before telling me se couldn't see me this week. It really isn't happening is it.

Anyway, I texted her back. Said I understood. Asked if it would be okay to call her one evening. We'll see how that goes. I'm guessing the answer will probably be no.